Called and qualified

A few weeks ago I was released as the first counselor in our branch Relief Society presidency and called to be a branch missionary. Since I am a returned missionary and already went out with the sister missionaries serving in our branch on a semi-regular basis, everyone said it was a perfect calling for me and that I got called to do something I was already doing.

That's not how I felt, however. I happily accepted the call, but I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility and under-qualified to fulfill it. Sure, I seemed actively involved in missionary work, but everything I did was very passive: if the missionaries called, I went out with them; when the found someone to teach, I befriended them; when they said someone needed a ride I picked them up. To me, being a branch missionary means much more than that. It is all about being pro-active, finding people for the missionaries to teach, and sharing the Gospel with everyone around me. To someone who doesn't know me well, this may not seem like a big deal. Since I was a child, however, I have struggled with being shy. It no longer paralyzes me and I am pretty good and faking it and appearing outgoing and comfortable, but it is still there and comes bubbling up at the worst times - like when I am trying to share the Gospel. I wanted to magnify my new calling, but there were moments when I felt completely unable to do so.


President Monson is found of saying "Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies" and these last two weeks I have come to know the truth of that statement. Many little things have happened like unexpected opportunities to talk to my coworkers about the Church, or an opportunity to put together a formal presentation on Mormonism for the library staff. Through these experiences I felt the Lord comforting me and telling me that through Him I would have the strength and ability I needed to perform His work. I know He isn't going to carry me every step of the and that I am still going to have to push myself way out of my comfort zone, but I now know that, with His help, I can do it.