Say what you need to say

A few days ago my boyfriend and I were sitting around talking (and catching our breath after some spontaneous living-room dancing) when he told me that I was beautiful. I realized that no one had ever told me that before - expect, possibly, my mother. It may seems like a small thing but it was wonderful to hear and something that all girls need to hear more often.

That experience made me reflect on how stingy we can be with sincere compliments. Often we think well of people and mention to other people how wonderful they are, but for some reason we never tell the actual person the things that we notice and appreciate about them. So, I've made a resolution to be more generous and sincere with compliments to those around me. We are all in the same struggle of life together and the more we can help and encourage each other the better.

Called and qualified

A few weeks ago I was released as the first counselor in our branch Relief Society presidency and called to be a branch missionary. Since I am a returned missionary and already went out with the sister missionaries serving in our branch on a semi-regular basis, everyone said it was a perfect calling for me and that I got called to do something I was already doing.

That's not how I felt, however. I happily accepted the call, but I felt overwhelmed by the responsibility and under-qualified to fulfill it. Sure, I seemed actively involved in missionary work, but everything I did was very passive: if the missionaries called, I went out with them; when the found someone to teach, I befriended them; when they said someone needed a ride I picked them up. To me, being a branch missionary means much more than that. It is all about being pro-active, finding people for the missionaries to teach, and sharing the Gospel with everyone around me. To someone who doesn't know me well, this may not seem like a big deal. Since I was a child, however, I have struggled with being shy. It no longer paralyzes me and I am pretty good and faking it and appearing outgoing and comfortable, but it is still there and comes bubbling up at the worst times - like when I am trying to share the Gospel. I wanted to magnify my new calling, but there were moments when I felt completely unable to do so.


President Monson is found of saying "Whom the Lord calls, the Lord qualifies" and these last two weeks I have come to know the truth of that statement. Many little things have happened like unexpected opportunities to talk to my coworkers about the Church, or an opportunity to put together a formal presentation on Mormonism for the library staff. Through these experiences I felt the Lord comforting me and telling me that through Him I would have the strength and ability I needed to perform His work. I know He isn't going to carry me every step of the and that I am still going to have to push myself way out of my comfort zone, but I now know that, with His help, I can do it.

Walking with the ducks

Every morning I take the bus into work at the Penn State Library. When the weather is nice I get off several stops before the library and walk up the mall in the center of campus to get to the library. Campus is still quite and I enjoy the walk and find that it help me get in the mood to handle a desk job for 8 hours each day.

My favorite part of my morning walk, however, is my interaction with the ducks. About half way up they mall there is a group of ducks. They are almost always hanging out in the same place and since they are campus ducks they are completely comfortable around people. So, every morning I say good morning to them and they walk a little ways with me. I don't know whey I enjoy this experience so much, I have always loved ducks there is something happy about them.

Some people want to go to Spain to run with the bulls but I find that I am quite happy and content to stay here in Pennsylvania and walk with the ducks.

Dating: embrace the awkwardness

It has been several months since my last serious relationship which puts me squarely in the delightfully awkward world of casual dating and first dates. Lately I have a few first dates so now I am going to ramble pointlessly about first dates.

There is a lot that is fun and exciting about a first date. It feel good that someone noticed you enough to ask you out so you take a little extra time getting ready and put a little extra care into the hair and make-up and enjoy the satisfaction of knowing that whether the date goes well or not that you look dang good. The other fun part of getting ready for a date is knowing that while nothing probably will come of it there is that small chance that one date could lead to another and another, or failing that you are guaranteed to get a good story or two to tell later.

Then the actual date begins with plenty of little awkward moments that come as you try to feel each other out. The funny thing about first-date awkwardness is that most of the time it come from small issues of protocol instead of anything real. Like wondering if you should wait for him to open the car door or just jump out, or the unbeatable awkwardness at the end of the date; do we hug, shake hands, or just say 'thanks, I had fun' and get away as fast as you can.

Yes, dating can be a delightfully awkward experience, but I've had realized that if you just embrace the awkwardness the whole thing is rather fun.