Shall We Not Go On In So Great A Cause?

Today is the anniversary of the martyrdom of the Prophet Joseph Smith



As I take the time to reflect on the life and mission of Joseph Smith I feel very grateful for his dedication and sacrifice and for the privilege I enjoy of having the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. When I feel burnt out, discouraged, or inclined to grumble, I can find new strength and determination by remembering the Prophet. I hope we can all take a moment to reflect on the life of a man who was so completely dedicated to what he believed to be true.

Battling Burnout

Maybe it is just cabin fever from month after month of cold, dreary days, maybe it is just the compound stress of live, or maybe some other set of reasons, but whatever the cause, I was feeling majorly burnt-out last week. I can't think of a better way to describe it. I just felt tired, particularly aware of my many weaknesses and faults, and didn't seem to be able to do anything without messing it up in some way or another. At least that was the way it felt. Looking back on it now most things were going fine, but the general feeling was that nothing was working out right.

What was bothering me most was not being able to figure out what was causing the slump. Generally, I am a pretty happy, optometrist person and while I have down days I can usually shake them off pretty easily. But not this time. So I went down to the temple with a dear friend on Saturday and had one of the most meaningful experiences I have ever had in the temple. I think  I was more prepared than I often am and I was definitely searching for answers and guidance, much of which I found in the temple that day. I felt much better after that, but there was still a bit of darkness I couldn't seem to shake on my own. So, my wonderful boyfriend and a good friend of mine came over on Sunday evening and gave me a blessing. As they placed their hands on my head and invoked the power of the priesthood it was almost like I could feel a physical weight lifting off my shoulders and I have been feeling great ever since.

I learned a lot of things from this experience, most of which are too personal to share here, but one important thing I learned is that it is important to be able to admit that we need help and turn to those around us to get that help. I am grateful for the wonderful priesthood holders in my life and for the comfort of the Gospel. I am grateful that I never have to face a dark day alone.

Perfect Friday

This last Friday was a wonderful day. Nothing big or amazing happened. It was just full of small things that made it wonderful. For starters, waking up and realizing it is Friday is a good way to start any day.

I went to work and stopped to day hi to the to guy who runs the front desk just like I always do and he said: "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Natalie Portman?" No one ever has, and I personally don't see the resemblance, but it was a nice self esteem boost nonetheless.

Next my boyfriend had a box of Valentine's Day candy delivered to me at work which was sweet and thoughtful. My coworkers all agreed that I have the best boyfriend ever - and I am inclined to agree with them.

Then in the evening I got to have the missionaries over and a few people they have been teaching to watch a movie about Joseph Smith and talk about the Gospel. It was amazing to listen to one of the girls talk about how she was looking to find more hope and purpose in her life and that she was starting to feel like this was the place to find it.

Just when I thought my day couldn't get any better. I got to spend the rest of the evening goofing off with my boyfriend and one of his friends from school. My life is so full of undeserved blessings and wonderful people. It often seems too good to be true.

Supporting each other

Last week we had some freezing rain here in Pennsylvania.  One evening my boyfriend and I were walking from his car to my apartment across the sheet of ice that was my parking lot. He quietly put his hand behind my back to steady and support me as we walked so I wouldn't, with my usual grace and coordination, fall and kill myself on the ice.

Although that was an example of physical support, it started me thinking about they way we all need each other from time to time to listen, encourage, and support each other. I feel very grateful for my boyfriend and many friends who so continually uplift, inspire, and support me and hope that I can do the same for them.

With Wondering Awe

Today in Relief Society we had a lesson about the life and Atonement of Jesus Christ which seemed wonderfully appropriate for the day after Christmas. During the lesson I thought about an experience I had as a missionary that I haven't thought about for a long time:


It was a week or so before Christmas and we got a call from a member asking us to go and visit a family he knew. We stopped by and the parents ushered us back to their daughter's bedroom. There lay a lovely young woman about my own age. Her body was weak and emaciated from the ravishes of cancer and she didn't have the strength to sit up and great us and she could barely manage to speak louder than a whisper.  I sat down on the side of her bed and explained who we were and why we had come to see her. We talked for a few minutes then she looked up at me with her big, beautiful, brown eyes and asked me what was going to happen when she died. I felt the peace of the Spirit come over me as I quietly told her about the Plan of Salvation, the hope of the Atonement, and the promise of resurrection.

I was transferred from that area the day after Christmas and I never saw her again. But I will never forget that moment in that quiet, dimly-lit room when we all felt the burden of death, pain, discouragement, and tragedy lifted though the power of the life and Atonement of Jesus Christ.

That to me is the true meaning of Christmas.

My boyfriend said that celebrate didn't seem like quite the right word to describe how we remember the coming of Him who took the pains and sins of the world so that we would not have to suffer the demands of Justice; of Him who made it possible that we could be resurrected and live for eternity with our families in the presence of God. The appropriate response, he said, would be speechless wonder and silent awe. I've had a quiet afternoon at home and spent hours studying and pondering the Atonement. I think speechless wonder and silent awe pretty well sum up the way I feel now.

Quiet Gentlemen

I am a people watcher.  I enjoy sitting back discreetly and observing humanity and how the interact. Recently I have noticed that there are a lot of quiet gentleman in the world. People who do the simple little things that make a better day for everyone. The people who look behind them and notice if there is someone to hold the door open for. The people who give up their seat on the bus, or let someone else on in front of them at a crowded stop. The people who smile and take the time to chat with the cashier who is checking them out. The people who thank the server and treat them respectfully. Most of the time no one noticed the little things these people do and the definitely don't take the time to thank them. But I notice them and I am grateful them for doing the little things that make this world a better place.

Good morning, Miss Idealism

One of my coworkers walked past my cubical on his way in to work this morning and greeted me with a cheerful "Good morning, Miss Idealism!" He was referring to a meeting we had the day before when I made a suggestion for improvement and everyone essentially patted me on the head and said "look how cute and young and idealistic Amber is - that idea isn't going to work." That sort of things happens fairly often at work and I am starting to get quite the reputation as "the idealistic one."

While is occasionally annoys me to have my ideas brushed aside I realized that I am okay with being "the idealistic one." I do have faith in the general goodness of humanity and I happy to be idealistic, naive, or whatever you want to call it. If I am going to err on one side or the other (and let's face it we all err on a regular basis) I would rather have to much faith in other people instead of being to cynical. So, setting aside the condescension of my coworkers I think I am comfortable with the title "Miss Idealism"