April has always been one of my favorite months. More than New Years, April is my month of new beginnings, hope, change, and growth; they just seem to come naturally with the coming of Spring. April is full of important events and anniversaries: General Conference, Easter, the anniversary of the founding of the church, my parents wedding anniversary, the anniversary of my first trip to the temple. Yes, I always have great expectation for April, and it did not let me down this year.
Externally my life looks much like it did in March, but internally April has worked its magic and I feel the change and new growth. It hasn't been an easy month, there has been pain, heartache, loneliness, and confusion, but that is not what I am going to remember about this April, I will remember the epiphanies, and the quite, constant, guiding hand of the Lord in my life.
I had two epiphanies in April that have the potential to change my life if I have the courage to follow them. The first one came on General Conference weekend, although it came Saturday morning before I had actually watched General Conference. I was watching a documentary about Jamie Oliver, a well-known British chef. The show explained how he used this success as a chef to make real significant changes in the word by improving school lunch programs and reaching out to at-risk youth. As I watched it, something went off inside of me and I rejected a life of quite mediocrity. I too want to change the world by reaching out to those that are lost and providing a safe haven to those who have none. I have made plans to reach this new goal - but that is the subject for another post.
The second came in stages over the course of the month instead of a sudden flash. It started when I went to visit my parents for their anniversary. My father gave me a blessing and among other things he told me that I would have 'unexpected success' as a sought to reach out and help my family. This is something that that is mentioned in practically every blessing I receive and I often wonder what I am supposed to do to claim those promises. In the past I have always been satisfied with the though that if I keep being a loving sister that someday everything will magically fall into place. This time, however, as I pondered in the temple and at home I realized that sitting passively waiting for something to happen is not the way that the Gospel of Jesus Christ functions. Faith without works in dead and if I truly have faith in the promises that have been extended to my family than I need to start acting on it. So I have been trying to and it has been a little rough so far with plenty of mistakes and rejection. Luckily I was born with a good measure of pure stubbornness and I am determined to keep working for my dreams and not let my bright April epiphanies fade with the new month.
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